Continuing with our advent calendar theme of 2022, we decided to create a set of magazine covers in the likeness of GQ or Men’s Health that capture the medieval essence for men. If such a journal could have existed, what … Continue reading
By Catherine T Wilson
For our 2022 advent calendar, we decided to create a set of magazine covers in the likeness of Dolly or Cosmopolitan that capture the medieval essence. If such a journal could have existed, what sort of articles would it have contained? Anything and everything to assist the young maiden about to set out on her life’s journey as a wife and mother, and once there, all the information needed to be a good spouse and keep her husband satisfied, and at home when not away soldiering.
Such were our efforts that we now find ourselves tasked with writing some of these articles! Well, why not? It might be fun… So please enjoy the snippets below from the May issues of The Chastity Belt.
It must also be mentioned that some articles in these blogs are written as they would have appeared directly in the ‘magazine’, whilst others, due to wanting to be as informative as possible, are written from the present-day point of view. Either way, please enjoy.
ARE YOUR HUMOURS OUT OF BALANCE?
TEN TIPS TO GET BACK ON YOUR FEET
Ladies, we are all aware of the four humours of the human body, namely sanguine (blood), yellow bile (choleric), black bile (melancholic) and phlegm (phlegmatic)
and how these four substances are organised around the four elements of matter (earth, water, air and fire), the four qualities of cold, hot, moist and dry, as well as around the four seasons, and even around the planets. Even our emotions are connected to the humours.
These four bodily substances must remain in harmony to be healthy. What then, can you do, if you are feeling a little ‘out of balance?’ Well, you might try these suggestions or adjust any of the following if you feel they are not what they should be. But do remember to consult a physician or an apothecary if the condition persists!
HOW TO TAME YOUR LOOSE LOCKS
Having trouble taming those tormenting tresses? Then we are here to help you!
Our resident researcher checked out resources written by the famous Lady Trota of Salerno, (Ladies, the volume of Trotula; three medical texts for women written by three authors is MUST HAVE!) and passages from Tacuinum Sanitatis came up with this advice:-
Of course, your health has a lot to do with the condition of your hair, so if you are ‘under the weather,’ do be sure to read the article of getting your humours back in balance!
A good tip for starting is to always use a good comb made of boxwood, bone or ivory.
WASHING THE HAIR
Use a creamy mixture of ashes, vine stalks and egg whites to clean the hair and scalp or combine your favourite herbs or plant extractions with liquorice. Another is chamomile flowers infused in lye.
Crushed herbs mixed with olive oil can be combed through the hair to promote growth and make it smooth.
CONDITIONING THE HAIR
To condition the hair crush your favourite flowers and herbs, add essences of woods and spices to make a paste or mix with rose water to comb through the hair. This will also ward off demons!
From the ‘Trotula’ specifically:-
When she combs her hair, let her have this powder.
Take some dried roses, clove, nutmeg, watercress and galangal. Let all these, powdered, be mixed with rose water.
With this water let her sprinkle her hair and comb it with a comb dipped in this same water so that [her hair] will smell better.
And let her make furrows in her hair and sprinkle on the above-mentioned powder, and it will smell marvellously.
FOR TANGLE-FREE HAIR
A conditioner of pig lard and lizard can help remove knots. It is recommended to use rosewater, cloves and nutmeg on your comb after to remove the lard odour!
FOR A DRY FLAKY SCALP OR DANDRUFF
Treat scalp by washing with a preparation of willow tree leaves or bark soaked in wine.
Use the juice of beets mixed with water and vinegar for dandruff. It can also prevent hair loss.
TO TREAT HAIR LOSS
Use a tincture of aloe vera mixed with wine or straight onion juice. Rub into scalp.
Peach tree kernels, bruised and boiled in vinegar. Cool and apply to thinning areas.
TO COLOUR THE HAIR
First pre-condition the hair (this is important!)
Do this with pomegranate peel, vinegar, oak apples, alum or ash before applying the colouring agent.
FOR BLONDE HAIR
To lighten the hair, you have a choice of methods:-
Mix boxwood with agrimony.
Mix saffron and onion skins with stale sheep’s urine.
Sit in the sun after applying a tincture of white wine and olive oil.
It is also recommended for women with blonde hair to wear opal necklaces to prevent the hair from fading.
To enhance the gold, ashes of barberry and water may be used.
FOR DARK COLOURED HAIR
Use black henbane or sage to darken the colour.
Try soaking in water from steeped walnut shells.
Bramble leaves boiled in rye.
Once you have tamed these luscious locks, read on to see how you can best style them and be sure to see the article on how best to dress your veil!
VEILS ARE BACK! HOW TO MAKE YOURS LOOK STUNNING
Your mother or maid probably scolded you at some point when you excitedly ran out of the room without your head dressed correctly, that is – wearing your veil. I know I was! On many an occasion. And as a good and obedient daughter or ward, you returned and allowed them to finish dressing your hair without question even though beneath your gown, your feet were doing a dance that would run rings around the Scottish.
Except one time, I did question it. And this is what my mother told me.
Married ladies no longer need the long, flowing locks of a maiden to attract a husband. We, matrons, have already accomplished that, but now there is a bevy of reasons as to why we cover up.
There is, of course, the religious nature of veiling to display modesty and restrict any flaunting of beauty for which our married status strictly forbids us. (No, the Church does not agree with the nature of courtly love). Also, to keep control of our long hair so that one may carry out their daily tasks without hinderance. It is also more hygienic by preventing the transmission of lice and to prevent damage from both woodsmoke and the sun.
So, when the time comes and your husband wishes to avail himself of your beautiful golden (or brunette, red, or black) tresses, they are in the very best condition. I must admit that my husband loves to wrap my golden mane around him and … ahem! Where was I? Oh yes, veils. Well, to help you along, just keep scrolling down. And you will need a few implements to assist you such as veil pins, a simple material fillet and cap.
Tutorial: How to wear 14th Century veils and wimples – The De Caversham Household (wordpress.com)
HOW TO EMBROIDER
The art of embroidery is considered luxurious; sumptuous fabrics decorated in silk, gold and silver thread for the finest clothing available only to the upper classes, or religious and secular narrative scenes adorning altars and vestibules in churches, but just how is this painstaking and precise, not to mention time consuming art form accomplished?
The main technique used today is called ‘Opus Anglicanum’ (English work). The stitches used are laid and couched work, stem and satin stitch, split stitch, and chain stitch. Couching is the technique of laying thread on top of the fabric and tying it down with a second thread, (or in the case of laid work, threads). First the design is drawn out on paper and transferred to the fabric with charcoal in a technique known as ‘pouncing’.
The design is then embroidered using two techniques which were characteristic of English medieval embroidery: split stitch (shown here with white and coloured silk thread), and underside couching (usually silver or gold, as here).
The small figure recreated below will take a medieval embroider roughly 35 hours to complete.
Here are ten comon stitches to help you get started, but there are at least sixteen more I can share in a later issue.
Here are some examples of such embroidery.
CHAUCER’S LATEST LOVE POEM
I couldn’t do this next piece without some formal introduction to our subject’s guest, Geoffrey Chaucer.
Geoffrey was an English poet, author, and civil servant, and around 1357 he became page in the household of Elizabeth de Burgh, wife to Lionel of Antwerp, King Edward III’s second son, thus bringing him into the court circle.
During the early years of ‘The Hundred Years War,’ Geoffrey travelled with Lionel’s household to France as part of the English army. He was captured during the Siege of Rheims in 1360 and Edward sent a courier to pay his ransom of sixteen pounds (equal to over twenty-one thousand pounds in 2021) and thus Geoffrey made his first appearance in Lions and Lilies for the courier Edward employed was none other than Gillet de Bellegarde!
Chaucer has been called the ‘father of English literature,’ or the ‘father of English poetry.’ He was the first writer to be buried in Westminster Abbey in what has since become Poets’ Corner.
The poem, ‘Merciless Beauty’ is written as a triple rondel. A rondel has two quatrains that are followed by a quintet, a set of five lines. The verse form has its origins in lyrical poetry of 14th-century France. In the case of traditional rondels, the first two lines of the first stanza are refrains. This means that the lines are used and reused at other moments in the text.
This poem is venerating a beautiful woman with whom the author has fallen deeply in love. Drawn by her eyes, he, who was once serene, now finds himself shaken by the depth of his feelings and keenly feels the sharp pain in his heart by her refusal or abandonment. So much, he declares that she has no pity for him so it is useless for him to complain. And her beauty is so great, it has left her without mercy. He will die loving her. Until the third quatrain when he is released from Love’s prison, where he states if he must love, he will love with his whole heart (fat) for he never expected to be sparing with his feelings (lean), but now that he has escaped, he will not return to such a tormenting prison again.
‘Merciles Beaute’ is known from only one other surviving manuscript, Magdalene Collage Cambridge MS Pepys 2006. Original version and a translation follows. Here is the article as it appeared in our fictional June issue of ‘The Chastity Belt.’
*****************
Dearest maidens and ladies of distinction,
We know you have all been waiting for our latest instalment into the writing of our handsome poet, Geoffrey Chaucer. Dare I say it, you will not be disappointed! It is everything we maidens love reading; penned with such feeling it will have tears flowing gracefully down your cheeks! Of whom does our mysterious man speak? A true love abandoned, mayhap? A one-time lover? Or some wonderous lady that he set upon a pedestal and adored from afar, married perhaps and unattainable! You decide…
Merciles Beaute
I
Your yen two wol slee me sodenly;
I may the beautee of hem not sustene,
So woundeth hit throughout my herte kene.
And but your word wol helen hastily
My hertes wounde, while that hit is grene,
Your yen two wol slee me sodenly;
I may the beautee of hem not sustene.
Upon my trouthe I sey you feithfully
That ye ben of my lyf and deeth the quene;
For with my deeth the trouthe shal be sene.
Your yen two wol slee me sodenly;
I may the beautee of hem not sustene,
So woundeth it throughout my herte kene.
II
So hath your beautee fro your herte chaced
Pitee, that me ne availeth not to pleyne;
For Daunger halt your mercy in his cheyne.
Giltles my deeth thus han ye me purchaced;
I sey you sooth, me nedeth not to feyne;
So hath your beautee fro your herte chaced
Pitee, that me ne availeth not to pleyne.
Allas! that Nature hath in you compassed
So greet beautee, that no man may atteyne
To mercy, though he sterve for the peyne.
So hath your beautee fro your herte chaced
Pitee, that me ne availeth not to pleyne;
For Daunger halt your mercy in his cheyne.
III
Sin I fro Love escaped am so fat,
I never thenk to ben in his prison lene;
Sin I am free, I counte him not a bene.
He may answere, and seye this and that;
I do no fors, I speke right as I mene.
Sin I fro Love escaped am so fat
I never thenk to ben in his prison lene.
Love hath my name ystrike out of his sclat,
And he is strike out of my bokes clene
For evermo; [ther] is non other mene.
Sin I fro Love escaped am so fat,
I never thenk to ben in his prison lene;
Sin I am free, I counte him not a bene.
Translation
Your eyes two whole slay me suddenly;
I may the beauty of them not sustain
So wounds it, throughout my heart keen.
Unless your word will heal, all hastily,
My heart’s wound while it is yet green,
Your eyes two whole slay me suddenly;
I may the beauty of them not sustain.
By my truth, I tell you faithfully
That you are of my life and death the queen,
For at my death the truth shall be seen:
Your eyes two whole slay me suddenly;
I may the beauty of them not sustain,
So wounds it throughout my heart keen.
So has your beauty from your heart chased
Pity, that it avails not to complain,
For Pride holds your mercy by a chain.
Though guiltless, my death you have purchased.
I tell you truly, needing not to feign,
So has your beauty from your heart chased
Pity, that it avails not to complain.
Alas, that Nature has in you placed
Such great beauty that no man may attain
To mercy though he die from the pain,
So has your beauty from your heart chased
Pity, that it avails not to complain,
For Pride holds your mercy by a chain.
Since I’m from Love escaped yet so fat,
I never plan to be in his prison lean;
Since I am free, I count it not a bean.
He may answer and say this and that;
I care not: I’ll speak just as I mean.
Since I’m from Love escaped yet so fat,
I never plan to be in his prison lean.
Love strikes my name from his slate flat,
And he is struck out of my books clean
For evermore; my sole course it has been.
Since I’m from Love escaped yet so fat,
I never plan to be in his prison lean;
Since I am free, I count it not a bean.
Note from translator:
Merciless Beauty, one of the great glories of English poetry, is particularly difficult to translate without damage. Chosen here, for the sake of clarity, to substitute eyes for eyen, thus losing some of the music, and to use the modern sustain replacing sustene thus destroying the strict rhyme.
Catherine A Wilson co-writes with Catherine T Wilson (no relation). Their first book, The Lily and the Lion, was based upon their true-life accidental meeting and resulting friendship. All four books in their ‘Lions and Lilies’ series have won first place prizes in the Chatelaine/Chaucer Awards in the US and in 2019, The Traitor’s Noose won the Grand Prize Chaucer Award.
The Lily and the Lion – 1st Place Chanticleer Chatelaine Award – 2014
The Order of the Lily – 1st Place Chanticleer Chatelaine Award – 2015
The Gilded Crown – 1st Place Chanticleer Chaucer Award – 2016The Traitor’s Noose – Grand Prize WINNER Chanticleer Chaucer Award – 2017
Happy Valentine’s Day from Lions and Lilies
Just a quick note from us on this day dedicated to romance which is a key element in Lions and Lilies. Instead of an actual blog, this year we bring you a poem by Cathy T which she wrote on Courtly Love in her medieval re-enactment days.
To explain Courtly Love, here is an excerpt of one of our earlier blogs:-
‘In an age where marriage existed as a contract between two families rather than just a contract between two people, often to join lands, wealth and titles, the feeling of the two individuals were not heeded nor expected. In this society the feelings of one’s heart did not enter into marriage. Often the wife and husband did quite successfully ‘love’ one another but it was built upon a basis of respect and duty. There lay open the door for a new code of conduct – that of Courtly Love – a love from the heart filled with passion and romance that was neither expected nor yielded from a marriage partner. Such popularity did this new found ‘Courtly Love’ enjoy that it set the founding for a whole new behaviour code with its own rules and restrictions, both welcomed and rejected by the Church and society.
The new concept of a non-sexual spiritual love between a nobleman and a noble woman excluded one’s own spouse, since marriage did not require love but it also had the effect of minimising feminine sexuality and transforming women into honourable and esteemed objects. This new perception of women contrasted starkly with views of early Christian writers, yet the courtly idea that love is not sensuality suitably agreed with the Church’s ideal of love as sexless passion. After all, sex was only for the begetting of heirs within the confines of marriage!
Courtly Love is best described as ‘the sophisticated and elaborate code devised by the 12th Century troubadours which made a virtue of love outside the bonds of marriage and raised the service of lover to beloved to an almost religious ritual.’
To read the full blog on Courtly Love or one on St Valentine – click on the links below, meanwhile, please enjoy the poem!
Courtly Love – The Way to a Woman’s heart
Courtly Love – Part Two – Duties of a Lover
The Rules of Courtly Love – All 31 of them!
What it is to ‘Wear your Heart upon your Sleeve’
Copyright Catherine T Wilson
The Lily and the Lion won Chanticleer’s ‘Chatelaine’ award for the Best Romance in 2013
The Order of the Lily won Chanticleer’s ‘Chatelaine’ award for the Best Romance in 2014
Courtly Love – Part Three
Eleanor of Aquitaine and Langue d’Oc
Legal and social attitudes to woman in the south gave them more freedom than their northern counterparts and, in the 12th century France, we find Eleanor of Aquitaine wielded as much power as men in times of peace. She was the granddaughter of William the Troubadour and, as such, was brought up in the courts of the troubadours, listening to the musical poetry of courtly love and speaking langue d’Oc. (See part two for explanation of langue d’Oc.)
At fifteen Eleanor was married to Louis VII, heir to the French throne. Louis did not understand langue d’Oc and his piety and life of prayer did not include the extravagance and splendour to which Eleanor was accustomed. Whilst Louis was madly in love with Eleanor, he did not have the kind of power and prestige that could capture her heart. Eventually Eleanor was able to get an annulment and she married Henry Plantagenet. Henry was a highly educated, cultured man who appreciated the arts and spoke langue d’Oc. This was a man who would indulge Eleanour’s love for the finer things.
Abbey of Fontevraud in France – burial place for Eleanor and Henry
Any lover worth his salt was said to be cortes, a word that means both courteous and courtly. Cortesia was a vital aspect of troubadour love. The lover’s cortesia consisted in not being miserly but not indulging in lavish exhibitions, not boasting but not necessarily keeping total secrecy, not being too forward but not hanging on every word, either. The term for this is menzura – the golden mean or ‘middle way.’
The more positive virtues admired in a lover were pretz and jovens. A lover was pretz when he had earned esteem through his love; the work is akin to prowess and implying accomplishment. Jovens embraced generosity and lightness of heart and was linked with the joy d’amour – the lover’s prize. Joy d’amour embraced a wide range of physical satisfaction to an almost mystical ecstasy. In its purest sense it was associated with the restraint and yearning an unswerving fidelity of fin’ amors – ‘fine love’ – the most refined and valued type of love.
That many stories have been written is testament to the strength of Courtly Love. The most famous of all is probably of Lancelot and Queen Guinevere and here it can be clearly seen the state of joy d’amour. Their love was in its purest form, this mystical adoration of a woman and only after their love was consummated, did it turn against them.
Another version of Courtly Love can be seen in Alfred Tennyson’s poem ‘The Lady of Shalott.’ This poem depicts the unrequited love of a maiden doomed to spend her days locked within a room held by magic. Her only way to watch life outside is to look through a mirror. It is there she sees our hero Lancelot riding by (he does have a lot to answer for, doesn’t he?) and she is so enchanted that she leaves the room to take a boat and sail to the castle so that she may gaze at her love again. But alas! As she leaves the safety of the room, the mirror cracks and the curse is set upon her. By the time she arrives at the castle, she lies dead within the boat. The castle folk gather upon the bridge to stare at her and Lancelot looks at the fair face never knowing her adoration of him was her undoing. Ah, such is courtly love.
In this 14th century example of a troubadour song it uses three voices. The tenor is repeated over and over while the other verses are sung. The idea of Courtly Love was for the lover to present himself as a loyal servant of the lady. If he obeyed her every wish, she may in time console him with love making. If she postponed this healing consolation too long, he might die and poets often used such a threat of death to exert pressure as a form of emotional blackmail – ‘you can commit your charms to me or commit murder by refusing me.’
MOTEUS
Lady I am one of those who willingly endures your wishes,
So long as I can endure,
But do not think I can endure it for long without dying,
Since you are so hard on me
As if you wanted to drive me away from you,
So I should never again see the great and true beauty
Of your gentle body which has such worth
That you are of all good women the best.
Alas! Thus I imagine my death.
But the pain I shall have to bear would be seet, if I could only hope
That before my death you let me see you again.
Lady, if ever my heart undertakes anything which may profit my heart,
It will come from you however far you may be,
For never without you, whom I love very loyally, nor without love, could I undertake it or know it.
TRIPLUM
Sweet noble heart, I am forbidden to ever see you again
Your fair sweet face which put me on the path oflove
But truly I do not know how I can expect not to hve to die soon.
And if I must abstain to give you pleasure,
Or else be untrue to you,
Then I would rather keep my loyalty
And according to your will – die,
If your heart wished it, than against your will
To receive complete joy by viewing your beauty.
TENOR
Sweet noble lady, pretty lady,
I am wounded by love
So that I am sad and pensive
And have no joy or mirth
For to you, my sweet companion,
I have thus given my heart.
Motetus the Poet
So now we have discussed the way to a woman’s heart (part one) the ideals of Courtly Love (part two) what exactly then, are the rules?
Here are all 31 of them!
1. Marriage is no real excuse for not loving.
2. He who is jealous cannot love.
3. No one can be bound by a double love.
4. It is well known that love is always increasing or decreasing.
5. That which a lover takes against the will of his beloved has no relish.
6. Boys do not love until they reach the age of maturity.
7. When one lover dies, a widowhood of two years is required of the survivor.
8. No one should be deprived of love without the very best of reasons.
9. No one can love unless he is propelled by the persuasion of love.
10. Love is always a stranger in the home of avarice.
11. It is not proper to love any woman whom one would be ashamed to seek to marry.
12. A true lover does not desire to embrace in love except his beloved.
13. When made public love rarely endures.
14. The easy attainment of love makes it of little value: difficulty of attainment makes it prized.
15. Every lover regularly turns pale in the presence of his beloved.
16. When a lover suddenly catches sight of his beloved, his heart palpitates.
17. A new love puts and old one to flight.
18. Good character alone makes any man worthy of love.
19. If love diminishes, it quickly fails and rarely revives.
20. A man in love is always apprehensive.
21. Real jealously always increases the feeling of love.
22. Jealousy increases when one suspects his beloved.
23. He whom the thought of love vexes, eats and sleeps very little.
24. Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.
25. A true lover considers nothing good except what he thinks will please his beloved.
26. Love can deny nothing to love.
27. A lover can never have enough of the solaces of his beloved.
28. A slight presumption causes a lover to suspect his beloved.
29. A man who is vexed by too much passion usually does not love.
30. A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved.
31. Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women.
To say that the rules of Courtly Love are conflicting would be a fair statement. Rule 2 (he who is jealous cannot love) does seem to conflict with rule 21 (real jealously always increases the feeling of love). Rule 30 shows us that ‘a true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thought of his beloved’ and yet if we are to believe the ideals, he cannot be seen to be doing this (he must be restrained in his conduct). The term ‘Menzura – the Golden mean’ or perhaps ‘middle way’ is the key to survival in Courtly Love – not too much and not too little. This too, perhaps depended upon the the individuals for what is too much for one lady, may not be enough for another!
Rule 31 states that ‘nothing forbids one woman being loved two men or one man by two women’ andyet clearly it is stated that there can be no duplicity of heart. This the, can only apply before the beloved has committed himself or herself to one of the admirers. Love had to be reciprocal and freely granted on both sides and yet it suggests elsewhere that it was not an equal relationship, the beloved was always regarded as the superior being.
That these conflicts exist is probably human nature and yet for a very long time these codes of conduct were used to express feelings of love outside the marriage, gained popularity in society and all in the name of … Courtly Love.
By Cathy T
Category Winner of the Chanticleer’s Chatelaine award for Historical Romance for 2013
Courtly Love
A vision of beauty, so full of grace,
By her presence alone I forget my woes
And I gaze upon that faery face,
Soft as dew upon a rose
My heart is pounding within my breast
Lo! What is this wonder I behold?
By a gentle touch she can tame the beast
And turn lowly squire to warrior bold.
What is this ache that tears me apart?
Bitter sweet within its grasp
Wouldst she look my way?
I ponder her beauty, her softness, her love
And know that I must stay
A thousand tortured deaths I die
And yet my love will have its fill
The sweetness of that kiss, I dream
The touch of lips ere never will.
She is mine to gaze upon with joy
But ne’er mine to hold
A turn of her head, a gentle nod, a smile?
‘Tis at me? I stand alone, oh, praise the Lord!
What is this searing pain, this passion that crushes my being?
My soul rises blissfully to the Heavens above
Such sweet fulfilment and longing combined
Ah! ‘Tis naught and all but Courtly Love.
By Catherine T Wilson
The Troubadour
During this age emerged a class of lyric poets, or troubadours as they become known, whose supreme virtue in their writings was the veneration of women using old Occitan ( Langue d’Oc – a language used in regions of Southern France).** The northern counterpart to a troubadour was a trouvère using their version of Occitan – Langue d’Oil. It was common for a troubadour to only produce his musical poetry and not to perform it himself (although there are many exceptions), his performing counterpart being the jongleur, meaning juggler.
The Troubadour 
The Jongleur 
At this time the new knights were only occasionally required to fight and the ladies of the court had time on their hands to wile away an idle hour. Hence there was an audience for a new kind of song, free of the burden of tradition and readily appreciated for its novelty. The troubadours were very dependent on the whims of their masters – one court may heap them with honours, others chase them from their gates, yet certain courts were their havens and the decline of their art is directly connected with the rise and fall of these courts. One of those courts was that of Eleanor of Aquitaine.
(NB. The Troubadours way of life, that being seasoned travellers from court to court, died out with the invasion of the plague in the early 14th century. Travelling musicians were then deemed to be carriers of the deadly disease and entrance into courts was forbidden.)
The courts which flourished under the attentions of the troubadours and its likely followers entered into an era whereby you could love outside the bonds of marriage and within the rules of a code. Such rules were idealised by Andreas Capellanus who served as cleric to Marie, the Countess of Champagne, daughter of Eleanor of Aquitaine.
Courtly Love existed as such:
We have a lover and lady. It is assumed that they were both noble. The love which resulted was not designed to lead to marriage so whether or not they had partners is incidental but it was exclusive within the conventions. In other words, it was highly scorned upon to entertain more than one lover at a time and only in very lax circles was that accepted.
It was not an equal relationship. The beloved was always regarded as a superior being. The lover hopes to win his lady’s favour by noble acts, not necessarily deeds of arms, more by the composition of songs, the cultivation of wit and good manners and paying court.
If a lover was adept at pleasing his lady, she might in due course recognise his suit and grant him some token of favour, perhaps after several years. After another period of waiting she might admit him to more physical joys and it was not unknown for her to surrender herself completely. My guess is, that in most cases, it happened sooner rather than later!
On a higher level, it was the harmony between lover and beloved that was all important. Any lover who rebuked his beloved for not giving him what he desired or who asked things which she should not grant, was indeed a fool. Love had to be reciprocal and freely granted on both sides – a complete contrast to the calculating nature of feudal marriage.
It could also be withdrawn if circumstances changed. In the late 12th century romance of Ille et Galeron, Ille is disfigured in battle and flees from Galeron because he wrongly assumed that she would no longer accept him as her lover. He renounced all hope of consummation – “Since there is never a chance of my seeing her, no wonder I long for her so.”
It was through this turmoil that the lover was supposed to acquire the qualities which brought him nearer to the heights on which his beloved moved. Waiting and delay are a recognised part of Courtly Love.
Courtly Love in society
It must be said that there existed a tension between the lovers and society at large. The Church frowned on such affairs and it can be argued that Courtly Love created its own paradox. In the heart of the lover, two ideas struggle with each other. Should he achieve consummation and thus his own accomplishment diminishing the high worth of the lady he is wooing? Or should he preserve her reputation by foregoing the enjoyment of his love’s favours? Both situations are painful for him. He neither wishes to harm his lady’s honour nor does he wish to completely abandon hope of consummation, the greatest physical gift. It is exactly this ‘neither-nor’ which is the conceptual kernel of Courtly Love. The Church, of course, agreed with this view of keeping one’s love on a higher plane, untouched and forever out of reach, as it suited their beliefs of no consummation outside the marriage.
So, what exactly are the ideals of Courtly Love?
Ideals of Courtly Love
That love means suffering. Before the love becomes equally balanced on both sides (and remember if the lover decides to keep his beloved on a higher plane, it never will), there is no torment greater since the lover is always in fear he may not gain his desire or he is wasting his efforts.
Having gained her love, however, provides very little relief for he is then afraid that what he has acquired may be lost through the efforts of someone else.
Love can only exist between a man and a woman. Between two men or two women, love can find no place. Whatever nature forbids, love is ashamed to accept.
An excess of passion is a bar to love. There are men who are such slaves to passion they cannot be held within the bonds of love. No sooner have they left the arms of one lady than they are warmed within the arms of another. This is lust and has no part.
A lover must appear wise in all respects and restrained in his conduct. He must do nothing disagreeable that may annoy his beloved. If, he should inadvertently do so, let him go straightaway and confess with downcast face and admit his wrong.
If he is with a group of men and should happen upon his beloved in a group of women, he must not try to communicate with her lest some person spying should have the opportunity to spread malicious gossip. Lovers should not even nod to each other unless they are sure that no one is watching.
Every lover should wear things that his beloved like and take reasonable amount of care with his appearance. Not too much, mind you, because excessive care for one’s looks is distasteful.
If a lover is lavish in giving, that will help him retain the love he has acquired.
One who is fitted to be a warrior should see to it that his courage is apparent to everybody.
A lover should always offer his services and obedience freely to every lady. He will overcome pride and be humble. He must remember not to neglect anything that is good manners or that would suggest good breeding.
Love may be indulged in the sweet solaces of the flesh but only in such a manner and in such a number that they may never seem wearisome to be the loved one. Let the lover strive to practice gracefully and mannerly any act or mannerism which he knows to be pleasing to his beloved.
A man should attempt to be constantly in the company of good men and to avoid completely the society of the wicked.
Love decreases when …
Overabundance – too many opportunities of exchanging solaces; too many opportunities to see the love one, too much chance to talk to each other all decreases love.
An uncultured appearance or manner of walking.
There is a loss of property.
If the lover should appear foolish and indiscreet or goes beyond reasonable bounds in his demands.
If he has no regard for her modesty and will not forgive her bashfulness.
If he is cowardly in battle, unrestrained in speech or spoiled by arrogance.
Blasphemy against God, mockery of the Church and a deliberate withholding of charity from the poor.
If he is unfaithful to a friend or brazenly declares one idea while deceitfully concealing another in his heart.
If he piles up more wealth than is proper or if he is too ready to go to law over trifles.
If an old love ends and a new one begins. There can be no duplicity of the heart.
If one becomes incapable of carrying out love’s duties or if he becomes insane or develops sudden timidity.
In all these cases, love flees and becomes hateful.
Next week – The final part – Rules of Courtly Love – all 31 of them!
Eleanor of Aquitaine
Example of a Troubadour’s song with three voices
** Each region in France had their own local dialect but Southern France, parts of Italy, Spain and Monaco, collectively called Occitania, shared a romance language (Latin language) called Occitan. Gillet and Armand are referred to as speaking this Languedoc (langue d’Oc – literally language of Occitania) in ‘The Lily and the Lion’ (chap 9) as they head north. They are discussing the Albrets after dinner at the inn.
‘Oui’ grumbled Armand, ‘he calls them his army of “blood red” but as long as the Prince keeps the Albret coffers lined with gold, they will continue to support him.’ Both men had slipped into the southern dialect of the Langeudoc, keeping their voices low.
By Cathy T
Winner of Chanticleer’s Chatelaine Award for Best Historical Romance 2013
Courtly Love – The Way to a Woman’s Heart – Part One
With the arrival of February I cannot ignore the approach of Saint Valentine’s Day. I mean romance and knights on horseback just go completely hand-in-hand, do they not? And, as last year (a whole year of Lions and Lilies blogging …yay…) I wrote about the special day itself, this year I decided to dedicate February’s blogs directly to love, or more specifically …
Delve into the Middle Ages and quite quickly magnificent images of knights on horseback wearing shining armour, swooning ladies draped in finery and all the blazoned colours of a tourney field spring to mind. These warriors of a new age lived and fought by strict codes of conduct known as chivalry. Honour was fought for and often, died for, and there was none so despicable as those who broke these codes. But, as there existed a code for fighting and a way of living, so too, there developed a code for loving which became known as ‘Courtly Love.’
In an age where marriage existed as a contract between two families rather than just a contract between two people, often to join lands, wealth and titles, the feeling of the two individuals were not heeded nor expected. In this society the feelings of one’s heart did not enter into marriage. Often the wife and husband did quite successfully ‘love’ one another but it was built upon a basis of respect and duty. There lay open the door for a new code of conduct – that of Courtly Love – a love from the heart filled with passion and romance that was neither expected nor yielded from a marriage partner. Such popularity did this new found ‘Courtly Love’ enjoy that it set the founding for a whole new behaviour code with its own rules and restrictions, both welcomed and rejected by the Church and society.
Described by J F Rowbotham in ‘The Troubadours and Courts of Love’ as ‘a dramatic change in the Western attitude towards women became possible with the appearance of a new concept of romantic love in the early twelfth century France. A concept embraced by the chivalrous notables in Southern France, served not only to elevate the lowly status of women but to generate a sense of courtesy.’
The new concept of a non-sexual spiritual love between a nobleman and a noble woman excluded one’s own spouse, since marriage did not require love but it also had the effect of minimising feminine sexuality and transforming women into honourable and esteemed objects. This new perception of women contrasted starkly with views of early Christian writers, yet the courtly idea that love is not sensuality suitably agreed with the Church’s ideal of love as sexless passion. After all, sex was only for the begetting of heirs within the confines of marriage!
Courtly Love and Courts of Love
Evolving at the courts of the Counts of Champagne, the art of courtly love incorporated its own set of rules and code of etiquette and provided special courts that adjudicated disputes in order to provide a binding judgement. So, you had ‘courtly love’ (the act of loving according to the ‘Courtly Love’ rules’) and ‘courts of love’ – a courtroom-like setting where disputes of love were heard and settled.
The group of judges were almost entirely women (surprised? So was I!) yet it is interesting to note most of the decisions given went in favour of the men. In one example which involved a precedent where Eleanor of Aquitaine decided that since ‘marriage was a commitment and since one of the ‘Laws of Love’ stated that love could not be given out of necessity, it was impossible to love your spouse.’ The case itself involved a man who loved a woman who was already spoken for. She felt sorry for this man and promised him that if she ever left her lover, he could be her replacement. She then married her original suitor. Her admirer took her to court claiming that since she had married the man, she must no longer love him and could therefore keep her promise of love to him. Eleanor ruled that the lady was indeed, bound to the plaintiff.
So, what exactly was Courtly Love and its rules? Who were the greatest followers and how, by its own definitions, did it leave the lover frustrated in its own paradox?
Courtly Love is best described as ‘the sophisticated and elaborate code devised by the 12thCentury troubadours which made a virtue of love outside the bonds of marriage and raised the service of lover to beloved to an almost religious ritual.’ (The Arthurian Tradition – John Matthews)
The Shaping of the Knight and Courts
Knighthood gave the warrior an honoured place in society, acknowledged by the Church despite its distaste for all things warlike. The meeting place of the knight and cleric was the royal court, where both had their place in the Prince’s service. In the 10th century certain ideals of courtly life and courtly behaviour are seen emerging. The courtesy of the clerics began to invade the world of the warriors. As the Church began to mould the spiritual attitudes of the warriors, so the secular culture (which derived from the Church) began to shape his social life as well. From the time of the first romances, chivalry and the worship of fair ladies are so intimately bound as to become almost indistinguishable. The knight who aspires to chivalric glory does not yearn to lead armies or dream of the gold or power but longs to shine for his prowess that he may earn his lady’s love. Once her love was won, he would be sure against his opponent’s spears in tournament and battle and, from her, all spiritual wealth would flow.
*Book Two spoiler alert
In ‘The Order of the Lily’ Margot’s suggestion that Cécile accept Gillet’s upcoming marriage and instead remain in his life as his mistress was not so outrageous. From this position, Gillet would be able to honour and adore her in true courtly love fashion. (As you will see in next instalment, there were levels of courtly love, one of which allowed physical love.)
Next week – Courtly Love – Part Two
The Troubadour
The ideals of Courtly Love (What and what not to do!)
By Cathy T
Winner of Chanticleer’s Chatelaine Award for Best Historical Romance 2013
Lions and Lilies 